Well, first off, let me wish Jensen the happiest of birthdays on his first one. You have brought your daddy and me the most amazing joy watching you learn, grow, and explore. My sweet little boy, Jensen, you are my life and first little boy love.
The past year has been one of the most challenging ones your dad and I have seen together. I consider myself a strong person, and you rocked my world. As a newborn, you were handsome, innocent, precious, and had an uncanny knack for peeing all over your changing pad. I saw your first smile, first coo, first laugh, and it made me so proud to see your new accomplishments. We also saw lots of crying and gassy fussiness, and it took a long time for sleep to become a normal thing for us :-)
One of the most challenging things was to say goodbye to daddy as he drove off for field camp in Colorado for 5 weeks. I have never been so scared. I was the sole person responsible for you for days on end. We had a lot of firsts while daddy was gone too. We had our first fever, when I called Tara crying that your fever wouldn't break and the nurse had to keep pricking your foot for blood samples. We had our first wonderful wedding, with Natasha and Trevor (you looked quite snazzy in your tuxedo onesie). We also had our first pool visit, when you only wanted to be held in the water and not use your floatie at all.
When daddy got back, I went back to work the following week. That presented new challenges for me. We had to have a schedule of wake up time and bedtime, and daddy was the sole caregiver during the day. Adam did a fantastic job, and made sure you had nap time, workout time (he had to teach you to roll over) and eating time. All the while, daddy was eating like a mad man, losing weight, and was running on zero energy. Eventually, after a trip to the cardiologist and endochrinologist, we found out that Daddy has Grave's disease. We got him on some medication and he is feeling much better these days, and hopefully continues to improve.
Soon daddy went back to school and you started your school too. You made friends, got sick, and generally had a fun experience I think. The morning craziness began at 6 am, with a feeding, packing up the bottles and daycare necessities, and putting everything in the car, along with the breast pump and cooler for my day at work. We also crossed our fingers for no spit up or diaper blow outs on the way to daycare (twice that happened).
Balancing a career, school, and a baby is not easy at all. I spent/d my nights and weekends doing laundry, cleaning house, washing bottles, storing pumped milk, and then finally relaxing if there is any time left before I'm up again at 5. I don't need to have the perfectly crafted wreath for my door from a a pinterest post, or a fancy new recipe for dinner anymore (grilled cheese sounds great). This works for my family, and I would rather spend my waking hours soaking up precious time with you than making crafts (I never would have guessed that a year ago). Sure, I can't say I wouldn't wish for more flexibility with work, but we just can't afford that right now. Plus, you are now a year old and have a super crush on a teacher at daycare, so I can't break up that relationship.
Some of the most fun moments we have had with you the past year are reaching your milestones. We were so proud when you finally decided to roll over instead of being lazy and just laying there because you got tired of trying to roll. When we gave you food for the first time, you made the best scrunched up face before you decided that peas were tasty. Your adventures in crawling began right after Christmas, and you soon became a pro in that sport. Bathtime is a favorite time of the day, and you love to splash in the bathtub and chew on the washcloths. You love to eat, and some of your favorite things are whole strawberries because you can take bites out of them, cottage cheese (you shove it in your mouth as fast as you possibly can), and green beans, they're so easy for you to grab. Your best friend became Coby, who loves when it is time to eat because you are so nice and feed him every time. We experienced the most stressful time in our lives, when you had surgery in January. We are currently watching you pull up and take some steps, and it won't be long before you become brave enough to take steps without holding on to something. I taught you how to climb up the stairs (much to daddy's dismay) and it now is one of your favorite things to do when we get ready to go to bed.
One thing I have to mention of course is your Mormor (grandma in Norwegian). I make sure we say goodnight to her photo every night at bedtime, because I want you to know her through me. I can't dwell on the "what ifs" because that doesn't change what it is, but I know that Mormor is watching you from heaven and sees everything you achieve. I would have loved to have my mom here to help guide me through how to raise a baby and have a full time career. She was an amazing role model and I miss her so much. I always want to be able to pick up the phone and call my mom when he's sick and see what her advice is, because she would know exactly what to do. As I play guesswork through this mom thing, I know she is guiding me to the right decisions. There is no one in this world a girl wants more than her own mom when becomes one herself, but that just wasn't in the stars for us. I love you Mom, and I hope I can amount to half of what you were with the three of us.
Kristin Tate, Tate Designs Photography is our photographer. She is amazing, I recommend her highly.
