Mother's Day. sigh

So the month of May is upon us, and with it brings Mother's Day and another anniversary.  I sigh, because this is my first Mother's Day without my mom.  I often wondered how I was going to cope once this day finally arrived today, and I like to think I handled things okay.  I spent the day doing things my mom enjoyed: shopping, grilling out with friends, and napping.  I did have my tears, of course, and my husband was there to comfort me. 

One of the things I think is the hardest is the age I was when my mom died.  I was old enough to have many, many memories, but young enough to be angry that she would miss out on so many things she would have loved.  I feel that if a parent dies when you are very young, you are too young to comprehend the loss, and you don't realize how much they will miss out on.  If you are older, and have children of your own, then your parent was given the opportunity to be a grandparent and share the memories of being a Mom with you. 

I was married, 26, and childless when my mom died.  I am thankful every day that she saw me get married, and that she loved my husband as one of her own sons.  Every day I also think about her, wish she could see my children one day, and miss her terribly.  I break down at work, I fear someone saying something that will make me cry, and then sometimes I am okay and can remember things and smile. 

This Mother's Day, I decided to honor my mom by putting up a photo of us along with a white carnation, which symbolizes a person whose mother has passed away on this holiday.

The credit for the carnation photo is from here